Are you newly married man with dreams of japa with your wife?. Before you make this life-altering decision, it’s crucial to be well-prepared and cautious, as advised by a seasoned travel agent. The Western world operates very differently from Nigeria, and what may seem not important here could become a very significant issues in places like America, Canada, or the United Kingdom.
The travel agent, who specializes in helping travelers with their documentation, stressed that not all couples who venture abroad together remain happily married. He recommended that moving to these countries should be approached with caution, suggesting that only those with a strong religious foundation, a solidified marriage, and no significant disagreements that could lead to constant arguments or regrets should consider such a move, that is make sure your marriage here is Nigeria have lasted more than usual, even make sure your wife already bears you about 2-3 kids before make such decisions.
The agent highlighted the rights given to women of the Western world, where women often have more rights and protection under the law than men. This environment can be especially challenging for men trying to manage their marriages in such circumstances. To help you understand this better, here are five critical things you must avoid when planning to ‘japa.’
1. Relying on Your Wife’s Wealth
One common mistake is relocating to a foreign country solely because your wife can finance the move. This scenario often leaves men without jobs or prospects, making them financially dependent on their wives or their wives’ families. This can lead to financial disagreements and marital problems.
2. Selling Everything for Your ‘Japa’ Dream
Selling all your possessions to fund your move is a risky decision. It’s essential to leave something behind back home to fall back to in case things don’t go as planned in your new country.
3. Strong Love and Mutual Respect
Your love for your wife must be strong, and the feeling should be mutual. The Western world can change a woman’s perspective, particularly if the marriage is still young and hasn’t produced children or has only had a few. Sometimes, couples with several children split due to the wife’s desire to enjoy the opportunities in the new environment, empowered by laws that often favor them in matrimonial issues.
4. Avoid Using Marriage for Residency
Many young men planning to travel abroad often think about this method alot. Not many people know that this is a very risky method for anyone to have in mind. This method might work for some people long time ago, but it’s not easy any more but because of desperation and urge of getting a stay, many young Nigerians, after going abroad has find themselves forcing feelings on older women abroad which late ends very badly for them.
While many people Seeking a local citizen as a spouse to secure residency is a risky plan. While it may work for some, it has caused problems for many Nigerian men. Some resort to befriending older women, often as old as their mothers, with the hope of securing permanent residency. However, this tactic is no longer as effective as it used to be, and it can lead to significant issues.
5. Be Independent
It’s crucial to be financially independent before moving abroad and have some savings to support yourself until you could secure a job in your new country. Depending on other people for your basic needs is not a sensible option as this may result to disappointment. Even if you are invited by someone, it’s important not to become a burden to others.
Moving to a foreign country requires careful planning and preparation. Some young men have found themselves stranded in foreign countries, unable to return to Nigeria and struggling to make ends meet.
In life, everyone has their day of divine visitation, and it may not necessarily occur in a foreign land. The socioeconomic and political conditions in Nigeria might not be ideal, but there’s no place like home. Parents should also consider their children’s ‘japa’ plans and provide guidance.
A marriage counselor, who has experience in psychology and has worked in a federal health institution, emphasized the importance of thorough due diligence before moving abroad. She shared stories of ‘japa’ experiences gone wrong, such as a man whose marriage fell apart due to seemingly minor issues in America. In this case, he returned to Nigeria to start anew.
She also cautioned married men against sending their wives abroad while staying in Nigeria, as it can lead to unexpected consequences, such as divorces or marriages to new partners met overseas.
In conclusion, the decision to ‘japa’ is significant and should be approached with proper care. Proper planning, strong relationships, and independence are important factors to consider. Moving Abroad may offer opportunities, but it also comes with challenges that should not be underestimated.